A Setback That Became My Best Teacher

Here is a little self-reflection - more like me talking to myself and accidentally hitting "publish." Whatever, let's go.

People always act like big turning points in life show up with flashing lights and a confetti cannon right? Sometimes, it just sort of creeps in while you are sitting in dead silent room, staring at pains that didn't make it past the launch pad. 

Back in the day - like, two decades agao, when the internet was basically just cat memes and dial-up noises - I was hell bent on becoming a hotshot content creator. Writing was my jam. I found this job that felt tailor - made for me. I am talking, I was convinced the universe had lined this up. Got through all those nerve wracking interviews. Finall round! Victory lap in my mind! I could already see my byline and that fancy job title. My family and friends? Oh, they were all like, "You have got this in the bag!" So I let myself day dream. May be a little too much.

And then? Well Crickets: Not even a rejection email. Just pure radio silence. 

Nothing. No call, no letter, not even a "hey, sorry, we went with someone else," Just me, refreshing my inbox like a maniac and spiraling into a black hole of "What it is." It was like my brain turned into a 24/7 anxeity factory.

Here is what went to inside my head.

  • Did I totally screw up?
  • Was I just not good enough?
  • May be I talked too much? Or not enough?
  • Am I even cut out for this?

Honestly, that week sucked. I feel like I was carrying a backpack full of bricks made of disappointment and self-dount. And I could not take it off. That feeling? Hung around way longer than I care I admit. 

But weirdly, that is when things shifted. Life did not shout at me, it sort of whispered. "Hey, may be you are supposed to write anyway. Whether or not someone gives you a badge for it." So you know what? I started blogging. Not for an audience, not for a paycheck, just for myself. Boom-my first blog was botn (rajmiarun.blogspot.com, in case you are curious or in need of some vintage cringe)

At first, it was just a dump of stuff I would been hoarding in my head. But eventually, it became the place where I let out all those tangled - up feelings and the stuff I was learning (sometimes the hard way).

Now? I have got a lot more clarity - and let us be real, a lot more confidence. Writing does not fel like a performance anymore; it feels like breathing. 

So real talk ever had life kick you in the shins and then surprise you with something better? Ever bounced back after totally wiping out? Drop a comment of something. Would love to hear your war stories.

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