When Gratitude Feels Like a Kick: Let Go of Expectations

 Most of us, many times go out of the way to help someone - offered your time, energy, kindness - only to be met with cold indifference or even worse hosility? It stings. You gave hoping for appreciation, a simple thank you, may be even a return of kindness one day. But instead, you got silence, criticism or complete disregard. 

The danger of expecting gratitude from the wrong people
Not every one will see your kindness for what it is. Some might take it for granted. Others might even resent it. When we tie our giving to expectations of gratitude, we hand over the power to hurt us. And the sad truth is, when you expect a response from someone incapable of understanding or valuing your gesture, you are setting yourself up for great disappointment. 

Imagine feeding a donkey and getting kicked in return.....

That is what it feels like when you help someone who lacks the maturity to emotional capacity to appreciate it. Their "KICK" might come in the form of betrayal, unkind words, or simply walking away when you need them the most. 

Give without attachment
This does not mean  you to stop being kind or generous. It means you give because that is who  you are, not because you expect something back. Your actions should reflect your values, not be dictated by their reaction. When you operate from this place, you remain centered and protected. 

Give because you want to - not because you want to be praised. Help because it is your nature - but because you expect applause. Be kind because it is right - not because it is always rewarded.

Let their response be their story
Their inability to say THANK YOU is a reflection of them, not you. Just like the donkey who kicks when feeded, some people only know how to only kick. And that is okay. It is not your job to fix them, to teach them or prove your worth to them. You only job is to keep being the kind of person who lives out of love, not needed. 

Protect your peace
Lean to set boundaries. Learn to respect the boundaries that you have set. Recognize the patterns. If someone consistently responds with a "KICK", step back. Distance is not bitterness - it is wisdom. Protect your peace by choosing wisely where and to whom you give your energy. 

In the end, true generosity lies in giving with no strings attached. 

Be kind. Do good. But never let someone;s ingratitude change your values. 

Because you are not a donkey. You are the one who gave. And that is something to be proud of. 

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