Pages of growth - A journal of notes

We often think of listening as something we do for others. But over time, I have learned - some of the most important listening we'll ever do .... is inward. Not to noise. Not to opinions. But to the soft, steady voice within us. The one we often silence in the rush of the day. There is a difference between hearing and listening.  Hearing happens by default. But listening? That's intentional. It's active. It's sacred. I have learned to listen.... To the tiredness behind my forced smile.  To the quiet joy in the simplest of routines. To the uneasiness I feel when something isn't right - even if everything looks fine on the outside. I am learning to listen.... To my body when it says "Rest." To my heart when it says "Not this." To my spirit when iit says, " You're enough." In prayer, I now speak less, I listen more. Not waiting for a loud answer - but for the calm, the shift, the clarity that follows when I finally stop trying to fix,...

Some truths dont arrive faster like lightning.  They arrive quietly. They arrive again and again - untill the moment one is ready to listen. I had always wanted to be that her, the one who handles both home and career. It was a dream that I carried in me seeing a few of my teachers, friend’s moms and a few other working woman.  Life gives what is destined. For a few they get what they desire and a few had to accept what comes to them.  I had always thought of myself to be a person who has the ability to juggle things effortlessly and climb up the ladder even if I get tired. I tried hard. I tried really hard. To get into that or rather to start climbing the ladder, I equipped myself with all the academics and courses that is needed for the first step to become “The Successful Woman”. - which was my dream. But I had to get down from the first step itself rather than climbing up the ladder. I dreamed to start again once everything is settled, once kids grow up, once my perso...

Not every prayer looks like hands pressed together. Some times it is just a sigh you bury in your pillow,  or that weird ache in your chest you can't shake off. Sometimes, it is just a hope that floats out of you, wordless, and you cross your fingers the universe is listening.  Honestly, my whole idea of prayer has done a complete 180 degrees over the years. When I was a kid, I figured praying basically meant asking for good marks on exams - and may be the occasional wish for a new toy. The I got older, and prayers turned into "please let things go right"or "just keep my people safe." Real original, I know.  Back then, I would rattle off prayers with the right words at the right time, like I was following a manual Checklist: complete. But life? Life doesnot really care about perfect timing or textbook anything. Now? I find myself praying while I am elbow deepp in dishwater or folding laundry. Or just standing there in the dark, watching my kid sleep like he is t...

Here is something - usually, I am the type who chases sunrises like some sort of over-caffenated Yogi. I have sat on Marina's sandy stretch, caught the light sow in Kanyakumari, and even soaked it all in from the Andamans. Every single time, it is been the wild, heart thumping "wow" moment burned into my memory.  But then there was this one morning. Nothing fancy, no grand plans. Just woke up stupidly early - like, "Why am I even conscious right now?" early. The house was dead quiet, which never happens, except for the occassional car horn grumbling somewhere out on the main road. Honestly, I thought, "Well, this is peak auditing. Awake while every one else is still drooling on the pillows" And then it hit me. I could not remember the last time I did just sat on my balcony with my coffee. Not rushed, not multitasking, just.... chilling. So I brewed my filter coffee (none of that mug nonsense - if it is not in a davara tumbler, is it even coffee?) and p...

 Forgiveness sets you free. Memory keeps you wise. There is an old saying, "Forgive and forget." But life teaches us something different. Forgive,yes. But never forget what it taught you.  Forgiveness is an internal release. It means freeing yourself from the weight of resentment. When you forgive, you are not saying what happened was okay. Instead you are telling yourself and others that you are choosing peace over poison. Forgetting is a different story.  Every painful moment, every betrayal and every disappointment carries a hidden lesson. Sometimes, it is about setting boundaries. Sometimes, it is about trusting your instincts. Often it is about figuring out who truly needs and deserves your energy.  If y ou forget what really happenned and how you felt that moment, you might heal. However, the chance of repeating the same mistake is high. If you remember, you carry forward the wisdom. Forgiveness is wisom, and memorey is a tool. Together, they form the foundati...

We have all been haunted by that ancient chant - "Early to bed and early to rise makes a person healthy, wealthy, and wise," feels like it is tattooed on the inside of every grandma's eyelids/ It is got that "back in my day" energy. Yet, shockingly, the old-timers were not just making noise. Turns out, there is a kind of magic hidden in those early hours. Look, the world's basically a hamster wheel on espresso. Nights are just a rumor and sleep?Well, actually all of us do, but we pretend otherwise. In this non-stop circus, having a routine is not boring - it is borderline revolutionary. Go ahead, be that rebel who tucks in early.  Let us talk sleep. Not just lying in bed scrolling memes and pretending to rest. I am talking real, drool on the pillow, blackout - level sleep. That is when your body's backstage crew comes out - it fixes the set tunes the instruments., takes out the trash. Hit the sack early and suddenly your body clock is not all whacked ou...

 A practically parental background noise tossed around "Early to bed and early to rise" is something to be pondered about. What does the deal with this saying? Healthy: The gist is, if you hit the hay early and bounce out of bed before everyone else, you body will Thank You. It lies us with our in built sleep cycle (that fancy item, circadian rhythm), so you sleep better, get sick less, and don't feel like a Zombie all day.  Wealthy: Getting up before the sun? It is like getting a head start. You have got all this quiet time to actually think, plan or just get is not done without your phone exploding with notifications. Stack up those productive hours and may be you will end up with a fatter wallet at least fewer deadlines.  Wise: Here is the wisdom bit. You know when the world's still snoozing and you can read, think, or even just stare at the wall and ponder life's mysteries? That is prime brain - upgrade time. More chances to learn, reflect, may be even mediat...

Here is a little self-reflection - more like me talking to myself and accidentally hitting "publish." Whatever, let's go. People always act like big turning points in life show up with flashing lights and a confetti cannon right? Sometimes, it just sort of creeps in while you are sitting in dead silent room, staring at pains that didn't make it past the launch pad.  Back in the day - like, two decades agao, when the internet was basically just cat memes and dial-up noises - I was hell bent on becoming a hotshot content creator. Writing was my jam. I found this job that felt tailor - made for me. I am talking, I was convinced the universe had lined this up. Got through all those nerve wracking interviews. Finall round! Victory lap in my mind! I could already see my byline and that fancy job title. My family and friends? Oh, they were all like, "You have got this in the bag!" So I let myself day dream. May be a little too much. And then? Well Crickets: Not eve...

 We often link confidence to having: Having control. Having answers. Having achievements to show. But life, in it is quiet wisdom, has taught me time and again that real confidence comes not from holding on but from letting go.  Letting go sounds dimple, but it rarely is.  Letting go of people we once trusted.  Letting go of a version of ourselves we outgrew.  Letting go of expectations that weighed us down.  Letting go of the need to always be right, liked or understood.  Letting go of "shoulds" - what we should have done by now, what we should live become.  At first, it feels like a loss. For so long, we have believed our worth lies it clinging - to roles, identities, relationships, and appearances of perfection.  But somewhere along the journey, something shifts. You start to realize that letting go does not mean giving up. It means you are choosing yourself. It means you are clearing space - not just in your life but in your heart - for w...

Because growth is not always about effort, sometimes it is about the soil too.  No matter how talented, passionate or hard working you are, being in the wrong environment can slowly chip away at your self-worth. I share this not just from observation but from personal experience.  I have sat in rooms where I gave my best and still felt invisible. I have been in environments where my ideas were met with silence, my efforts with indifference, and my passion with polite dismissal.  Over time, it began to show-not on the outside, but deep within.  The Slow Shrinking Environments don't just shape how others see  you; they shape how y ou begin to see yourself. When you are surrounded by constant criticism, emotional neglect, or people who only see a version of you they can manage, you start to second-guess yourself.  you begin to dim your light so it does not bother anyone.  You quiet your voice - not because you have lost it, but because no one is listening...

So, it was not some deep,soul-baring conversation - just a regular, low-key chat with my mom while we sipped coffee. I'd had one of those days where everything feels like it is pilling up - new project, new stuff to learn, stress levels through the roof. I was just unloading, you now? Ranting, complaining, the whole nine yards. Mom just sat there, listening, like she always does - quite patien, not trying to fix it.  But then right after I finished my little rant, she looked at me and said, real calm, "It is fine. You are allowed to be tired. Just don't stat thinking being tired means you failed." And then, as if she hadn't just dropped wisdom like a mic drop, she just got up and wandered into the kitchen with our empty mugs.  I just sat there. Didnot say a word. That sentence stuck with me - like really got under my skin in the best way. I realized I had been measuring myself with the wrong yard stick always chasing productivity, never giving myself a break.  Tha...

In an age characterized by relentless space and escalating demands, journaling stands out as a remarkably accessible, evidence - backed strategy for enhancing personal clarity, emotional regulation, and self development. Yet, a persistent question emerges, "Is Journaling appropriate for me?" In shory: absolutely. Journaling is a versatile practice, applicable to anyone seeking growth, reflection, healing or greater self understanding.  1. Journaling for Students: For students grappling with academic pressures and the complexities of personal development, journaling functions as a constructive outlet. It assists in managing stress, processing academic challenges, and articulating aspirations. Additionally, the practice enhances critical thinking and composition skills, providing a low-stakes environment for self expression. 2. Journaling for Professionals: The modern workplace is often fast-paced and cognitively demanding. Professionals can leverage journaling for goal-setting...

The passing on should not be noisy and inhumane. Self - respect is something which can be quite a thing. A drama is not needed in every outcome. Many or much needs and justly merits grace. When you are ready to give something up, be it something processional, connection, a conviction or even a character of yourself, you do not have to demolish a mountain or make a bridge combust to walk away. And this is one way of releasing with out hurting: 1. When you are truthful with yourself you are the first person that you ought to deceive. Understanding is the initial hospitality. Realize truth and facts to yourself before you relay them to someone. You ask yourself-Why are you keeping it? Or is it fear, or love, or habit, or guilt? 2. You dont have to make a big exit Certainly you do not need to say much good bye to anybody. It may be sometimes the kindest thing not to take much hold, not to be very like, instead of being very unlike, as not to say anything very ill. 3. Being the best ver...

Letting go isn't the end. Often, it's the kindest beginning. It was an ordinary Wednesday when I realized something I had been ignoring for months. I noticed that I wasn't myself around her.  Around her? Yes, her, my friend for years.  What did we share? Literally everything—food, secrets, joy, grief, and jokes we found funny. She was that friend who knew how I liked my tea, what I would order at any restaurant, and where I preferred to eat. I thought she would always be there, standing next to me during every important moment in my life.  But lately, our calls had turned shorter and awkward. Whenever we met, especially recently, it felt like I was putting on a show. I picked my words carefully, avoided certain topics, and laughed at things that didn’t seem funny. I noticed something I couldn’t ignore—I always left those conversations feeling smaller, even belittled. For a long time, I told myself this was just a phase.  "She is going through a lot."  "I prob...

There are many things that don’t break us; they just ask to be released. We carry a certain heaviness. It's not because we have to, but because we don’t know how to set it down or let it go. For me, it was a friendship I clung to too tightly. It used to bring joy, laughter, and comfort. But over time, it began to feel like walking on eggshells. I felt responsible for someone else's happiness while neglecting my own. Still, I held on. Letting go felt like failing. It felt like giving up on something that once meant the world to me. Then one day, I realized I wasn’t holding on out of love anymore. I was holding on out of fear—fear of being wrong, fear of being alone, and fear of what others might think. That’s when I learned what letting go truly means. Letting go isn’t always dramatic. It’s not a slammed door or a final message. Sometimes, it’s simply waking up and choosing peace over pressure. Sometimes, it’s not about walking away, but stepping back—kindly, firmly, and fully. ...

Sometimes it is not a break through, a speech, or an achievement. It can be quiet moment like watching my kid fill the water bottle for school or tie their shoe laces without asking for help. I stood there holding my breath.  In that silence, a sudden wave hit me. My kid does not need me, the same way as before, yet they will always need me.  No, it was not sadness. It was a shift, a soft shift, like turning a page to a new chapter. That moment showed me that growth is not always loud or obviously visible. Often, it happens in the background, softly. May be that is why we fail to notice.  Actually, I won't say we fail. We are just too busy to notice.  And the real big lesson? Letting go can be quite too, but it is no less powerful. 

 Real insights. Soft nudges. Daily learning.  Every moment of our life teaches us something new. Sometimes, life speaks to us in whispers, like in a conversation, a setback, a dawn, or when we confront a truth we have always avoided. In the long run, we can see something out of all these moments, and that something is the pattern that reveals growth.  This is the space where I compile and share all the small yet precious lessons, I have learned along the way.  These are the lessons that have shifted my perspective. Each post in this blog serves a purpose and that purpose is a self not: a reminder of something learned, a reflection or a realization, and the lessons are curated not to be definitive guidance, instead, they are lessons penned down from a journey, from my journey. These lessons and insights are found here in this blog, not from the perspective of a teacher or as an expert in the field, but from a student who is still learning and wishing to be understood ...

 We acquire knowledge now and then and at every moment, which leads us to development. With every moment comes a neew opportunity to learn. This blog contains all of my lessons learned and the lessons which I am still learning in a reflective and appreciative manner. They do not come in form of preachings or do's and don'ts. instead, they illustrate the steps which I took and continue to take to better myself.